Grand Pope Xistove (ssjstereotype) wrote,
Grand Pope Xistove
ssjstereotype

Lemme tellya about the Dead or Alive movie

Gar. Badger. It sucked, but DOA is one of those movies that sucks so hard that you HAVE to see it in order to be with the ridicule crowd, one of the few crowds that it's okay to be in even if you're a loner. Really. Go download this movie AND DO NOT PAY FOR IT.


Now, I know what you're saying, "FAG! Hot chicks makes it automatically the winz0rz!" NO YOU ARE ACTUALLY THE ONE WHO IS GAY GO AWAY! The chicks on the game are HOTTER way HOTTER so much HOTTER that I'd rather beat off to the GAME than the MOVIE AND I WILL TEST THIS BY LOOKING UP PORN PICKS OF THE CHICK WHO PLAYED HELENA and fappin it good. WHILE I DO GIVE IT THAT THE CHICKS ARE HOT and dave, we had this discussion, THEIR BOOBS AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE PART.

Some would say that there aren't and big tittied chicks what to fill the part, BUT THE CHICKS BARELY DID ANY MARTIAL ARTS!Y@!%^!@#!#& They had the KURAPPY FIGHTS! Only that one dude, Hayabusa was any good, and HE WAS A DUDE NO GET AWAY DUDE WITH COCK NO LEAVE

But it gets worse. Oh so much worse. Hot Helena chick was hot and said hot "KAY OH!" at the end of the fights...but then they displayed a big K.O. And they had health bars. FUCKIN HEALTH BARS AT THE TOP OF THE SCREEN WHAT IS GOING ON?! Some bullshit about shots and putting metal balls in their bloodstream for vital hmmmgmurffgay.

AND AND AND ALSO



NOT AN ASIAN. NNNNNNOT AN ASIAN

There was only two good things in Dead or Alive aside from the many "HOH" panty ass and sideboobshots (and I am VERY disappointed in the boobshots), and they are--

Tired Ninjas. Hiymhaaaa~



And Weatherby. No pictures, but he has a buncha computer stuff and floatin' panels o' monitors with THREE USELESS KEYBOARDS YAY! If I was forced to have only one dude in a movie of mostly chicks, you can be in it, Weatherby. You're Not Bert©.
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