Grand Pope Xistove (ssjstereotype) wrote,
Grand Pope Xistove

Why am I still out to sea?

I gotta find some more pictures of this bitch. Boy howdy, she makes my man bladder swell up like a fat chick in Dunkin Donuts. Supposedly she plays some kind of sports, olympic cock sucking or Gold Medal Ball Juggler or something like that. All I know is that if I'd ever get a hold fo her, I'd...well, I'd probably be tired after having the massive amounts of other dudes around her kicking my ass, but I'd probably have enough energy to gently nestle my scrotuxlar sack begainst her chin or amidst her eyebrows.

Though, there is only one turn of for me. It's mental. Her last name is BEARD. Any time I look at her, I imagine her with a beard. Thinking about her, I can see a moustache on her like that one Mexican on our ship who tried to shave a C onto his face. He will be referred to as Guacamole heretheretothereforth, to protect the innocent. But really San--Guacamole, why did you do that?

I have an idea, man. Aright alright get some eye liner and paint a C onto your face. Call it a curved Zorro since it's all sharp and whatnot.

Back to dunking my testes into Amanda Bynes or whateverhernamebe's trachea, here are some pictures for those not yet inclined. I couldn't give a shit where she comes from, what she does, and people who write articles are gayer than the fags who stuck the whole "Blog" trend on fucking websites, so I'll get on to the pictures now. But first, we must prove a very vital fact.

Even the fuckugliest chicks can become destructively hot. Now, let us begin the Hoh.

Nipples stickin outta red shit makes my cock feel like an upside down umbrella shoved inside a lemur's vagina.

The one that originally made my cock speak Spenglish, even though I know neither English nor Spanish. S'pinned up in berthing, about to be pinned up on my cock. ...Wait, that might hurt.

Here we have her being jizzed on by two elephants off camera. Notice her tiger-ish look, the look that says "I'm being jizzed on by elephants, and I don't give a SHIT."

She displays the Default Women Leg Spreading Technique, which was know for its vital role in World Wars I and II when Japanese ninja whores taught the Axis how to put blades in their vaginas to shred the cocks of soldier boys who got too raunchy. This is why we fight.

The only reason I'm bothering with these annoyingly long captions is because the internet is fucking slow in the ocean. I think it's because we don't poach enough whales and jam routers into their floating corpses. Oh asshole in the air.

Who really thinks covering tits is sexy? Okay, I do, but that doesn't help my punchlines. I mean, nice bras are great, and some are quite fancy in design, but when I look in a magazine that has curves and lack of fat chicks, I expect to see at least dinnerplate areola sticking from behind fabric. I'm tellin ya, not enough hot and famous latino model chicks. Latina? Might need to get Guacamole's opinion on this.

And here, just like the elephant jizz, Old 'Manda is being sprayed upon. This time by seven olympic synchronized jizzing Italians.

Finally, return to the truth. Nice tits, nice body, I'd rather have a face of Bill O'Reily pasted on.

Y'know, in retrospect I'm significally hotter than Amanda whatsherface in her original face. If "airbrushing" or whatever the fuck this is can do that, I could be a total dime pie--I'll stop now.

Some fags in berthing were talking about airbrush or some bullshit. Don't give a fuck, there's tits, no need to be complifuckincated. Airbrush, real, animated, mannequin, dead, possum, I'd hit it all.
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